1. The teacher dreams have revved back up.
Once I dreamed that my appraiser at my first school was my dentist and they pulled out all my teeth with no anesthesia. I’ll let you interpret that one.
2. Your cart moves on its own toward bargain and office supply sections of stores.
Magnetic field, probably.
3. You have to restrain yourself when people ask, “Ready to head back to school?”
I’m going to start texting people on holiday, “Ready for your vacation to end?” so they know how I feel.
4. You lie right to your own face to justify your back-to-school purchases.
If I just buy this really nice travel mug, I won’t forget it at school or in the back of my car like I’ve done with 22 other food and beverage containers!
If I get matching faux marble office supplies for my desk, I won’t even need classroom management!
5. You’re already being asked to do stuff.
Sound familiar? “Teachers, please have the following quick tasks done BEFORE Monday’s staff development: Create teacher profiles for yourself on ZinkZonk, BeepSchool, and Swisheroo, read these two articles and have share points ready for each, register for these four PD sessions, and fill out the Google Slide at this link with the attached information about you for new teachers.”
6. Like an Olympian returning to earn their 20th gold medal, you’re ready to rattle off the universal precautions for handling blood-borne pathogens.
Sometimes I imagine the online program being impressed with my accuracy, like, “Wow, ma’am, we’ve never had three consecutive perfect scores!”
7. You’re doing your own form of preparation before the marathon of this school year.
Teachers prepare differently for the beginning-of-the-year onslaught. Some pack in the relaxation by fitting in one more camping trip or scheduling one last massage. Others try to clear the remaining to-do list items they’ve been putting off, like cleaning out the garage or getting the tires rotated. Some brave souls even plan lessons.
8. Everyone in your home (including you) is ready for you to clear the “teacher corner” out of the living room.
Your cat LOVED it, though.
9. Despite a lot of external forces making teaching a tough gig right now, you still can’t wait to meet this year’s group of kids.
We all know they’re the best part.