English teachers are often limited to the same rotation of tasks. Grading papers. Demonstrating punctuation usage. Reading aloud. It’s very rare to have an opportunity to flex their command of the English language.
Enter: being asked to draft an official report.
You want a story? Oh, I’ll give you a story. *cracks knuckles*
@matteicheldinger demonstrates this particular literary thrill in his hilarious viral TikTok video.
This teacher turns the mundane task of filling out an incident report into an epic tale of hallway drama!
In this video, Mr. Eich narrates the incident in such vivid detail that you can almost hear the soundtrack of a mystery movie playing in the background. His description of a student brawl is nothing short of cinematic, making us wonder if we’re reading a report on the latest YA fiction bestseller.
“Lights flickering, like the dying breaths of an education system …”
This dramatic setup hooks us in immediately. This is not just a fight, it’s a saga!
Fellow teachers can relate to this TikTok …
“Hahaha! So true! Once administration told me that the ELA department could just bullet point the incident reports from now on.” —@cancan
“I absolutely love this! As an art teacher, you should see the picture I paint!” —@teachingbelike
“I do this too, and I’m the music teacher. I think it has to do with my theatrical side!” —@MaryBeth
“His face, peppered with acne and pain only an adolescent can understand …”
His rich descriptions make us feel like the student isn’t just a student—he’s a protagonist in the throes of youthful turmoil. Some teachers wish they could write their reports like this!
“We have a word limit … so hard to explain it all!” —@jen197492
“I’m only writing incident reports with this energy from here on out!” —@user29267564040121
“My feet swift to cross the tile floors as I plunged into the hero’s journey …”
Mr. Eich narrates his sprint across the hallway so richly that he turns a regular teacher intervention into a heroic quest. Fellow ELA teachers really vibe with this video!
“Hahaha! I feel you, fellow English teacher!” —@Squiddie04
“The LOTR music to this narration is just *chef’s kiss!*” —@Sr.Smith
“My admin constantly ask me to make my reports less wordy. I can’t help that I need to set the scene first before I can tell the story!” —@MelissaJacobsen
So the next time admin asks for just the facts, remember and chuckle at @matteicheldinger’s approach. Maybe don’t turn in your poetic recount for real, but why not have a little fun drafting it? After all, if teaching isn’t already a stage, what is it?