Photograph: MyroslavaPavlyk/Getty Images
The sex tech industry has conditioned us to think of toys in terms of male and female, penis and vagina, but that’s reductive and inaccurate, and it contributes to a larger narrative about the relationship between genitals and gender. It’s unhelpful, and I have a lot of feelings about it. We opt to be as specific as possible and use anatomical terms to describe individual erogenous zones—and there are way more than just P and V.
The vulva is the exterior part of the vagina. It includes the labia majora, labia minora, the urethra, and the clitoris. As the center of the erogenous nerves of the vulva, it’s often been said that the clitoris has roughly 8,000 nerve endings, but because the external part of the clitoris is literally just the tip of the iceberg in regards to its size, new research puts that number between 9,852 to 11,086 never endings, depending on the person. The internal structures of the clitoris extend down to either side of the vagina, which is where you’ll find the G-spot—the area stimulated by toys that curve toward the front of your body.
The phallus is what’s commonly referred to as the shaft of the penis, and it includes a couple of erogenous zones. The glans is the top of the phallus, usually referred to as the “head,” and the frenulum is a thin strip of connective tissue on the underside of the glans that can be particularly sensitive to targeted stimulation. Last but not least, the anus is, well … it’s the butthole. The rectum is the interior portion that attaches to the anus. Both of these areas can be sensitive to internal and external stimulation.
For people born with phalluses, there’s an additional erogenous zone here: the prostate or P-spot. This is a walnut-sized gland that lives between the internal structures of the penis and the rectum, and it can be reached by toys that curve toward the front of your body. But even those without a prostate can thoroughly enjoy anal sex, anal vibrators, or anal play of any kind, so don’t limit your sexual pleasure possibilities just because you don’t have a P-spot.